Plan B is the new Plan A
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
