Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
