i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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