just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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