Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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