Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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