he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
