omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
