Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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