We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
