Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
