I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize