is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
