i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
