i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
