yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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