Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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