So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
