Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
