Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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