Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I believe in your delicious
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
