How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
