He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
