This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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