i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
