Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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