I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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