I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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