A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
