Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
