Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
