if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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