The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize