what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
