Heybabeimwearingurpanties
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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