So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize