hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
