We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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