The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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