There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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