I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
