Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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