He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
