Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
