Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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