i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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