I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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