I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize