around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
