And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
