So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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