She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
