OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
