you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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