the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
