i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
