we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
